Clean coal ingredient

This post originally appeared in the Blue Line’s 2012 April Fool’s issue.

Documents uncovered in a Freedom of Information Act request have revealed that, just months before his death, Soylent Energy Corporation spokesperson Charlton Heston gave a taped interview confirming that the “clean coal” planned as fuel at Valmont Plant is actually a mixture of coal and relocated prairie dogs.  “Mostly, we select the prairie dogs that have either mutated from eating too many GMOs on Open Space, or those who just won’t listen to us when we tell ’em to stay on their own god-damned side of the fence,” said Heston in the interview.

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