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Automobilist Wins “Automobile Commuter of the Year” Award


Mr. Moriarty, Automobilist of the Year

Dedicated local automobilist Jay Moriarty has been named Boulder’s “Automobile Commuter of the Year” for his committed use of the car for all his transportation needs. Three years ago Moriarty’s concern for the world’s oil companies convinced him to give up his bus pass, sell his bicycle, throw out his sneakers, and start driving everywhere as an example to others. “Jay is truly an inspiration,” says his friend Leslie Toun. “He’ll drive even when it makes no sense, like to the corner store or when he knows parking will be almost impossible. He definitely deserves this award.”

Moriarty spends $9,000 a year on his car, about average for an American automobilist.  He’s had to forego vacations and buying a house as a result, but he says it’s worth it.  “Sometimes when I think about the money, or when I’m stuck in traffic, or when I see how much weight I’ve gained from a completely sedentary mode of transport, driving almost seems nuts,” he said.  “But this award gives me a new sense of resolve.  And I know it’s really not for me – it’s for automobilists everywhere.”

Editor’s note: This post originally appeared in the April Fools Edition of the Blue Line (4/1/2011).

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One Response to “Automobilist Wins “Automobile Commuter of the Year” Award”

  1. […] Automobilist Jay Moriarty Wins “Automobile Commuter of the Year” Award.  His unwavering commitment to this relic of the 20th century has no doubt warmed the hearts of oil company shareholders and petro-dictators worldwide. This entry was posted in linkstream and tagged boulder, cars, oil, satire, transportation. Bookmark the permalink. ← Daily Camera: “Ride your bike more often” […]

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