This post originally appeared in the Blue Line’s 2012 April Fool’s issue.
Last year, our state legislature passed the “Simplify My Life” law in which secret meetings by county commissioners and city councils in Colorado were not only allowed but encouraged. State Representative Claire Levy (D, Boulder), who carried the bill, explained it this way, “Our citizens have all too often been distracted from important concerns like the Tebow/Manning controversy, episodes of America’s Got Talent and shopping because of way too many public hearings on zoning, prairie dogs and Boulder Open Space and Mountain Park trails. This law removes those distractions from public view and allows our elected officials to resolve them in private, as it should be.”
In spite of the decrease in transparency, the Blue Line has been able to discover what may be the first application of “Simplify My Life”: Boulder County Commissioners met privately last week to formulate and pass a Romneycare-type health care plan for the first time outside of Massachusetts.
Gov. Romney was asked about his thoughts on this first application of his plan. His office reported that he has already embraced positions on all sides of the issue, but they are researching possibilities of yet one more. Based on past experience with Romney’s opinions on many issues, they are optimistic that they would find one and promised to get back to the Blue Line as soon as they do.
The new Boulder Health Care Plan, known in some circles as BoulderCare, will contain all the highly-regarded features of the federal Affordable Care Act like death panels, government mandated insurance plans for everyone, contraception coverage for pre-teens, higher Medicare costs and reduced benefits. While opponents of this plan criticize it as “Boulder’s War on Jobs,” Boulder County Commissioner Will Toor reassuringly stated that the resulting job loss “won’t be too bad.”
The 7,000 page law, which may be published sometime in 2013, will be fully implemented in Boulder County by 2040, just in time for light rail to be completed to Denver.