News, Analysis and Opinion for the Informed Boulder Resident
Sunday June 26th 2016

Support the Blue Line

Subscribe to the Blue Line

That's what she said

city council transportation energy municipalization xcel housing april fools urban planning bicycles election 2011 climate action density boulder county open space agriculture affordable housing renewables CU local food election 2013 youth jefferson parkway pedestrian development election 2015 climate change Rocky Flats preservation BVSD immigration recreation mountain bikes transit GMOs farming decarbonization fracking urban design fires wildlife boards and commissions colorado politics architecture downtown smart regs new era colorado plutonium journalism homeless transit village plan boulder commuting natural gas radioactive waste parking rental height limits planning board april fools 2015 ghgs energy efficiency Neighborhoods historic district North Boulder students walkability education gardens coal arts election 2010 historic preservation water supply bus taxes land use diversity University Hill election 2012 bike lane groundwater solar zoning water quality population growth RTD library safety organic affairs of the heart election april fools 2016 planning reserve mayor zero waste hazardous waste hogan-pancost electric vehicle obama transportation master plan flood growth right-sizing longmont electric utility politics Mapleton solar panels PV recycling golden climate smart loan colorado legislature bears sprawl nutrition diagonal plaza wetlands food epa boulder junction pesticide conservation easement community cycles street design congestion ballot road diet bus rapid transit drought county commissioners league of women voters children campaign finance daily camera ecocycle community comprehensive plan Newlands sam weaver ken wilson automobile david miller wind power PUC climate change deniers tim plass kevin hotaling bob bellemare john tayer suzanne jones boulder flood plain lisa morzel bsec mining monsanto women modernism jane jacobs public spaces contamination Orchard Grove EV green points technology BVCP arizona Whittier crime boulder creek mlk civil rights marijuana west tsa

PLAN-Boulder Takes Credit for Flatirons


By

This post originally appeared in the Blue Line’s 2012 April Fool’s issue.

In a bold move yesterday, PLAN-Boulder County issued a press release claiming credit for the Flatirons. “We are responsible for all things good about Boulder,” read the document, “including its beloved Flatirons.”

“If you couldn’t see the Flatirons it would be like they didn’t exist,” reasoned PBC spokesperson Juan Storey. “Therefore, since you can see them that is the same as us creating them.”

The Boulder Mountain Bike Alliance disputed the claim, issuing a press release of their own. “If anyone can claim credit for the Flatirons, it’s us,” read the statement, “After all, our name includes the word ‘mountain’. You have to ride on them for them to exist. It is like the sound of one hand clapping. “

Local scientists point out that the Flatirons are an ancient geologic feature and are probably not due to the influence, however strong, of either group. Both groups deny the existence of local scientists.

In a related story, Boulder Creek has been claimed by Trout Unlimited.

Rate this article: 1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...Loading...

Reader Feedback

One Response to “PLAN-Boulder Takes Credit for Flatirons”

  1. Jason Vogel says:

    Little do most people know that “flatirons” is a concatenation for two very popular sayings by mountain bikers: “Crap, I just got a FLAT!” and “Luckily I can fix it with my trusty tire IRONS.” But since most mountain bikers are adrenaline fueled dullards, many of them have lost advanced speech capabilities, leading to the adoption of the phrase “Ugh, flatirons!”

What do you think? Leave a comment!

You must be logged in to post a comment.