News, Analysis and Opinion for the Informed Boulder Resident
Monday October 20th 2014

Support the Blue Line

Subscribe to the Blue Line

That's what she said

energy city council transportation xcel municipalization election 2011 climate action housing density april fools boulder county open space bicycles urban planning renewables agriculture election 2013 CU jefferson parkway youth local food affordable housing Rocky Flats climate change BVSD preservation development mountain bikes GMOs farming immigration decarbonization recreation fracking fires colorado politics new era colorado smart regs transit journalism plutonium wildlife plan boulder boards and commissions natural gas radioactive waste transit village pedestrian rental downtown commuting planning board height limits education energy efficiency homeless parking gardens architecture coal election 2010 water supply historic district arts election 2012 students ghgs population growth water quality taxes North Boulder organic solar library groundwater RTD land use University Hill planning reserve solar panels diagonal plaza Mapleton zero waste climate smart loan election diversity Neighborhoods nutrition hazardous waste obama electric utility colorado legislature flood bus politics sprawl affairs of the heart golden pesticide food sam weaver league of women voters epa bus rapid transit hogan-pancost bike lane ken wilson county commissioners conservation easement drought longmont Newlands PV mayor recycling david miller comprehensive plan ecocycle wind power daily camera climate change deniers PUC campaign finance wetlands mining climate community cycles monsanto jane jacobs electric vehicle sustainability oil urban design community measure 310 walmart germany gun control gun safety contamination west tsa Whittier bears arizona green points lisa morzel zoning Orchard Grove kevin hotaling boulder creek suzanne jones tim plass john tayer bsec bob bellemare boulder Washington blue line silly walks children snow removal bike share blue friday van jones copenhagen BVCP public spaces al bartlett technology districting EV mobile home parks marijuana historic boulder city budget

PLAN-Boulder Takes Credit for Flatirons


By

This post originally appeared in the Blue Line’s 2012 April Fool’s issue.

In a bold move yesterday, PLAN-Boulder County issued a press release claiming credit for the Flatirons. “We are responsible for all things good about Boulder,” read the document, “including its beloved Flatirons.”

“If you couldn’t see the Flatirons it would be like they didn’t exist,” reasoned PBC spokesperson Juan Storey. “Therefore, since you can see them that is the same as us creating them.”

The Boulder Mountain Bike Alliance disputed the claim, issuing a press release of their own. “If anyone can claim credit for the Flatirons, it’s us,” read the statement, “After all, our name includes the word ‘mountain’. You have to ride on them for them to exist. It is like the sound of one hand clapping. “

Local scientists point out that the Flatirons are an ancient geologic feature and are probably not due to the influence, however strong, of either group. Both groups deny the existence of local scientists.

In a related story, Boulder Creek has been claimed by Trout Unlimited.

Rate this article: 1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Reader Feedback

One Response to “PLAN-Boulder Takes Credit for Flatirons”

  1. Jason Vogel says:

    Little do most people know that “flatirons” is a concatenation for two very popular sayings by mountain bikers: “Crap, I just got a FLAT!” and “Luckily I can fix it with my trusty tire IRONS.” But since most mountain bikers are adrenaline fueled dullards, many of them have lost advanced speech capabilities, leading to the adoption of the phrase “Ugh, flatirons!”

What do you think? Leave a comment!

You must be logged in to post a comment.